This week Katie is away on a business trip to France, and I’ve got the house, kids, and dog to manage.

It’s not a problem.

I help the kids with their schoolwork, learn some calligraphy, and make dinner. The phones are off, and the kids are in bed by 10. The dog gets walked at 6 am and the oldest goes off to bible study by 6:15.

I enjoy the time with the kids.

But…it is very different than being able to tag-team all the family responsibilities with my spouse.

One thing having a family of six teaches you is that you can do more than you thought you could, but not as much as you want.

There is not enough time for everything.

As the father of four active kids, I’ve found that as much as I want to be everything to everybody (including myself), it’s just not possible.

If that is true, how do you live a life you are satisfied with when you can’t do everything you want?

I think the answer comes down to priorities. Or rather, a priority.

Priority. The word comes from the Medieval Latin word prioritas (meaning "the condition of being prior" or "first in rank, order, or dignity").

As in, singular. First. Top. Most important.

The plural form, priorities, was infrequently used until the 1900s. Maybe that is why we are so distracted!

If you want to be a mother, there are trade-offs you will make while you are pregnant and raising a newborn.

That’s a fact.

Anyone who has borne a child and lovingly raised one knows that the trade-off is worth it, but it is a trade-off for that season of life.

Your health and physique change dramatically; you can’t work the same hours or with the same intensity, and your time is consumed by caring for the baby. That’s just how it is.

If you are a man building a business, it will take focus and dedication. Trade-offs will probably be made to achieve your business goals. Most successful men would probably agree with that.

However…

You can take all of this to an extreme, and I am not advocating that. My father used to say, “All work and no play makes Johnny a very dull boy…”

That’s true. However, having a priority doesn’t mean you don’t attend to anything else in your life. It just means that you make room in your life for that priority first. Just like a mother does to bring a life into the world.

If you are young, in your 20’s, and have energy and time, you should prioritize learning, getting experiences, trying things, meeting people, dating, and putting in the work to set yourself up for your 30’s.

If you have young kids AND a business, make sure you know which one is your priority and be intentional about it.

It would be so easy to miss every soccer game, every concert, every bedtime story, every meal, every sendoff on the school bus, and fixing every skinned knee because you are…working. So many men arrive in their 50’s wishing they had spent more time with their kids, but those days are long gone.

Life is not easy.

At every stage, there is uncertainty, with activities and goals competing for your attention.

The point is, don’t be a psycho.

You can have a priority, but if you are smart about how you design your life, you can fit a lot in around that priority.

Sometimes, you have to make compromises.

We are human.

I know you probably wanted a hard and fast rule—an unbreakable maxim to blindly follow! You want me to tell you, “Never compromise on your priority!”

I don’t have that. Real life is more nuanced.

Becoming aware that there are competing interests for your time and attention and choosing intentionally which one you are prioritizing is the name of the game.

Just knowing that you have to make choices and trade-offs helps a lot.

This way, you can at least choose what you are doing and let the rest go for the time being. Trying to do everything all at once can lead to burnout, depression, and strained relationships.

The most useful frame I have come across to help me learn to be flexible in navigating the challenges of life is this: the joy is in the journey.

It is not the destination.

To my fellow travelers.

Choose your direction.

Start moving.

Keep your vision clear, but allow for the journey to take its own route.

Stay flexible.

Enjoy the ride.

Check in next week to see if I survive holding down the house on my own and if my calligraphy improves!

Stay Not Normal,

p.s. If you are ready to find your direction and your path in life, there are three ways I can help you.